polished

my first foray into nail polish was in the second grade, when after noticing a classmate with painted pink nails, i holed myself up in my room and "painted" my own with pencil. my dad made me erase my manicure. "You're too young!" i sulked, rubbing my nails over with a nubby eraser.

in the fifth grade, i went to my friend's house for a sleepover where she painted my nails in glow in the dark nail polish; conveniently visible only in the dark, invisible in the daylight (and to my parents). i guess i got my comeuppance for disobeying my parents because the very next night, i awoke to see my nails glowing vividly under my covers and freaked myself out. "i thought i turned into an alien!!," i told my friend later. i was a strange kid.

in sixth grade, i discovered at a store at the mall a polish that only turned visible under UV rays. secretly using chinese new year money, i bought it when my mom wasn't looking. i bought orange, and under the sunlight it turned the color of the flesh of an orange. "orange looks weird," said my fashionably inclined friend sporting a royal blue manicure.

seventh grade rolled around and my mom picked me up from school one day with a beaming smile because she had a surprise! inside the bag was a scented glitter polish. at home i carefully painted my nails, and after they had dried, took a big whiff, catching a slight fruit scent. it was a great day.

nowadays, i'm a fairly big fan of nail polish, as much as someone who owns five bottles can be. my fingers normally aren't painted because it pains me when the first chip appears, and so i concentrate my polishing efforts on my toes. also, i'm much too lazy to change my nail polish if it clashes with my outfit. toes, they stay hidden inside my shoes. by the way, i normally sport a fuschia leopard print. see, you never see my toes, you would have no idea!

the latest addition to my vast collection (yes, number five!) is a rip-off of Deborah Lippmann's "Happy Birthday:"

It supposedly looks awesome over any base color and contains lots of different colors and sizes of confetti - eeeeee! unforch, it's also $18.

enter: wet'n'wild's Party of Five Glitters, $1.99. (I'm trying to understand the pun of the polish's name. Is it an homage to "Party of Five?" Or is it just a literal description of how many different kinds of glitter are contained in the bottle? Is it both? Is it something else? I don't know!)

i triumphantly brought it home from the drug store and in a bold move proceeded to paint my nails a bright fuschia in preparation for this lovely overcoat. it was super promising in my head. i finished, admired them a little bit, and after they dried i put an introductory swipe of "party of five" on my left thumb. it looked kinda cool, but the glitter wasn't as opaque as i imagined it to be and so it was mostly fuschia with some cute glitters on top. it also became quickly apparent that only a high school aged girl and younger had any business sporting this particular combo on her fingers. i changed gears and removed the fuschia and glitter before someone else could witness this bad idea live. anyways, my toes are now red with "party of five" and i'm a fan.