salty

i was doing some research when i came across mention of the salt institute, apparently a very strong industry group that advocates for the business of salt, lobbyists and all. i googled "salt institute" and found this webpage, http://www.saltinstitute.org/, which i personally think is a few turns short of a parody, but also has some nice information on there.

uses for salt:

graph of salt use:


my new dream is to visit the salt institute and stay for a meal.

"would you like some more salt on top?" the waiter pleasantly asks.

"well, i'm concerned about my high blood pressure, so i'm alright. but thanks." I smile politely.

"CAUSAL LINKS BETWEEN INCREASED SODIUM INTAKE AND HYPERTENSION ARE INCONCLUSIVE!!!"

"uh sure, whatever you say." I spear a piece of salmon.

"INCONCLUSIVE!!!!!!" red faced, the waiter then whispers into his headset.

i taste the salmon. it is too salty.

a portly and sweaty man appears by my side. "ma'am, a margarita? we've already salted the rims."

"i'm cool, thanks."

"pretzels?"

"this is fine, really."

i finally leave. it's been snowing heavily, but the road leaving the Institute is clear and i easily get onto the main road.